a lot of things

a lot of things happened.
i never knew it.
false premonitions. untrusted feelings.
then now i knew
i was in vain.
these harbored feelings were a mistake.
thoughts that only made me and myself suffer.
wrong and right.
now, i dont know which is this and that.
selfishness and desires crumpled.
now blind. no truth can be seen.
feelings are fault.
misunderstandings, unfounded proofs and reasoning.
unexplained matters, inevitable phenomenons.
now i've learned my lesson.
is it really like this? test first, then lesson?
it's so cruel, didn't even made us review,
didn't even teach us anything before that.
but now i know that this would be
the guide to the next tests in my life.
not surely the same test, but same feelings.
that needed to be corrected.
just like when having an ordinary exam in school.
every exams are all different, but there's one feeling,
can be excitement, can be nervousness.
which destructs our knowledge,
therefore must be changed into calmness,
and solve it with a moderate pace.
now, what should i do
to perfect the next test?
not exactly perfect, but atleast not to fail.
i won't like to end up sad and crying.
i would like to end up proud and smiling.

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