Bullet

Love never fails, but people do. Let me share my story about it.

It will be soon before it ends. My fate is pretty determined, pretty predictable. My love story is short. And I hope everything'll be fine. But hoping is just merely wishing. And wishes just come true in fairy tales.

My father, pretty much my family don't like this man. Even though this is my first time to love, they don't understand me, they keep on telling me that this is not the one for me, that my beloved man will just kill me or destroy my future. If I insisted on being with this guy, my father told me that he can order someone to kill him! And what the fuck, the hell! I just can't accept it! But I know, they won't even listen to my explanation, they would just spank me, slap me, ground me, or even isolate me from the world. What do they think of me? A doll!

Damn it, but they tell me all these things with authority. And who am I to answer? I have no such authority to talk back, cause I am just merely their daughter. If I speak just a word, it would be considered talking back therefore disrespecting them. It sucks you know. This feeling of having no chance to fight for something so significant, so important?! I got no power. In the end I am just helpless, torn between the paths of my happiness and my loneliness. Leaving this man would make me lonely, though my parents are gonna be happy. Damn so much, I keep on questioning the heaven, the skies, the souls, why o why don't my parents give me a chance to be with the man I love! This sucks too much, I can't breathe in anymore. I can't hate them, can't despise them, because without them I am not here, but what the hell do I feel? What am I supposed to do? Move on without even starting yet?

Then I made one step forward the path of loneliness. I lied and insisted on breaking up with him. Cause I know this is the right thing, I'd rather break up with him and watch him from afar than knowing he's dead. But he didn't accept this. Even though I told him that if he insist on loving me he will be in danger, he accepts it. He said he can't leave without me, and it's his first time loving this much. He even said that this is his first time pleading, he pleaded for me not to leave. I don't know how to respond. I am so happy hearing and feeling, knowing that he loves me this much. What the hell, I am supposed to take the path of loneliness! But every second, every moment, little by little, I am turning my back from the path I've chosen. This time my heart decides for me, and my heart has chosen to take the other route which is full of risk.

I love him, and I will respect his decision to stay with me, even if it'll cost his life. He is happy with me, and it's my honor. I am doing this cause I know, someday along the rains or the sunny days, he will be forced to leave me, he will be forced to break my heart. Or maybe I will fall to another man. We can't accurately predict the future. But it's within our hands. And I will keep on loving him, keep on staying beside him, and when the gun is ticked, I will be the one who will take the bullet for him.

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